So if you have read any of my other posts, you would realized that I typically write positive and motivational blogs. I believe in the law of attraction and the power of positive thought. I think we all have complete control of our destiny and I believe in a higher being.
But today I call bullshit on the Universe. Life in general is exhausting- being happy all the time is even more exhausting! Always searching for the positive despite the circumstances, always shoving aside the stress, frustration and anger to make room for the happiness, positive thoughts and smiles – that all takes soooo much energy all of the time.
Then when you have one of the those days when nothing seems to be going your way and things go from bad to worse (because your thoughts turn negative and you begin to draw more negative energy towards you) those days, when you are really searching for the positive energy, so you can turn your day around.
Or you have a series of those days. Or the Universe decides you need a lesson in patience and none of your positive thoughts, workings or energies seem to be accomplishing anything.
Well I have had a few of those days lately, so I call bullshit on the Universe. I am tired. I don’t feel like mustering up the energy to be happy. I don’t feel like finding the energy to pretend everything hasn’t been chaotic in life. I don’t have any desire to ignore the little things and move on. I’m out of energy, none left to apply. None left to try.
Am I still aware of the fact that I have a lot to be thankful for? Yes. Am I still aware that things could always be worse? Yes.
But you know what, today I want to be tired. Today I want to let out that anger because I don’t have the energy to find the energy to be happy.
And thats ok. It’s ok to call bullshit on the Universe sometimes.
Because hopefully I can try again tomorrow.